I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
