In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
