dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
