let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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