Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
