I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You took a bar mat shot.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
