im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
