Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
