we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
