How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.