Just cropdusted the office
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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