I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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