I will die if light touches me.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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