let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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