I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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