Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
