Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
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didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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