3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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