I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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