I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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