Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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