I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
