Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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