I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize