ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
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How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.