I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"