i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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