In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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