so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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