btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he puts the penis in happiness.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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