I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
