If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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