who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize