Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
