saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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