I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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