I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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