whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize