thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
