your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize