i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How does one acquire holy water?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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