dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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