Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
