Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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