Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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