What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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