I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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