i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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