you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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