we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
