there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
