why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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