I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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