Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
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